I say it should have been the fastest place if the short bus from the local graveyard hadn't dropped off a load of retarded zombie people there just before I arrived. I swear it was like some force harvested up a bunch of impoverished North Korean farmers and dropped them in front of the counter and they were too scared or too impressed by the magic of Mc Flurry machine to do anything but stand there with their mouth agape as the cashier waited for their brain to fire a neuron.

For those people that were in that Mc Donald's the other day, I've put together a quick guide for you next time you accidently stumble into one.

1) You should already know what you want before you even put one of your big hooves in the front door. If for some reason you don't know by the time you get up there, pick a number between one and ten and they will hand you food, it's all the same crap. Imitation meat on imitation bread. It all tastes like sawdust and grease anyway.

2) Don't tell them what you don't want on your sandwich, pick whatever offends you off. It's going to be there anyway, be happy you even get what you order. The people in the "kitchen" aren't that much smarter than the insects killed to make what you're going to be eating, don't confuse them, they're working from a template.

3) Don't bring your kids to the counter. Sit there fat asses at a table and ask them what they want there. If they can't sit still for five minutes and behave themselves and you're too much of a faggot to slap them in public then don't bring them at all. Instead ship the little brats off to a sweat shop in Indonesia where they'll lose some weight and learn to not be a spoiled sack of annoying shit.

4) If you don't get what you ordered, don't cut to the front of the line to complain, I will stab you in the with my keys. If the vomit on you burger is arranged exactly to your liking and it's that important to you that it is you can god damn wait in line again.

5) Only a complete low life orders fries with no salt. Yes, it was a neat little trick to get them to make you your very own personal batch of "fresh" fries. Now they're on to you, they have a section of separate fries there with no salt waiting for you since they stopped serving breakfast. Besides, "fresh" fries don't taste any different, there's enough preservatives in all this shit to sustain a mummy.

And Finally, fur fucks sake, be nice to the employees. They are working a shitty job for minimum wage and they are making your food. If you don't want a lob of jizz in your Mc Nuggets then don't act like a dick. I don't need to have any additional pubic hair in my double cheeseburger that wasn't already ground up into the patties because you were in there before me acting like a douche and pissing everyone off.