As you probably already know from some of the history books I've written I was the inventor of the motor car about 105 some odd years ago. It was shortly after that I designed and constructed the Pittsburgh street and interstate system with bag of concrete and a broken tooth brush. I'm sad to say that while the streets I built way back when are still being used, the city has done very little to keep them up to snuff.

Just the other day I was driving the bumper car that I liberated from a cramped pen at the county fair and riced up with AOL top speed technology when I hit a pot hole so large that it caused my vehicle to flip over and fly up into a tree. I had to spend half an hour poking it with a stick before it finally fell back out. It was then I inspected the pot hole and found that it had been there so long that a primitive civilization had started developing in it. So my question to the city street crews is, "What the fuck guys?" It only took me three days to build all these streets, how can the city allow them to degrade into a barren wasteland of craters, cliffs, ravines and canyons?

Now I don't want to blame it on the PennDOT street crews, but I kind of have to because they are lazy. They're also incompetent as are all the people that manage them. We'd all be better off if we paid some Mexicans to go out onto the streets and gave them a dime for every hole they fill in with roofing tar. Which is what I suggested in the very beginning.