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Adobe Acrobat Can Suck My Ass
Posted by: null on May 17, 2007
I have a simple request for the douche bags at Adobe. In the next version of Adobe Acrobat, could you perhaps make it work and not fucking lock up your web browser or sit there and hang for eternity while it tries to consume all of your memory and push it's bloated software ass into your page file?

Here's a clue. People use your acrobat files for one thing, to display words, maybe a picture and format it so it can be printed. That's it. We don't need chat shit or sticky notes and whatever the fuck condom dispensers you're putting into this thing to make it a 20 meg compressed download. What we do want is for it to display a fucking file without the screen getting all fucked up and then crashing when you attempt to print it. The last pdf I tried to print I would have had a better chance of getting a useful document by jacking off into my printer.

Oh, and while your busy fixing all the problems with just displaying and printing pdf's. Why don't you make editing the files more difficult while you're at it. When I go to change some text in a file I like it to be slightly less enjoyable then fucking a burlap bag full of scorpions. Perhaps you can reprogram the generic error message that you get when trying to do a simple task like delete a page to instead shove a kicking antelope into your ass. Then whenever you try to edit text, instead of just not doing nothing when you try and overwrite it you could randomly change the font size and switch it back and forth between tractional Chinese and French character sets. That way your users will get that inevitable suicide attempt over with earlier in the day.

I don't know how it was done, but Adobe Acrobat 4 functioned, not all the time, but more often than not. Acrobat 8, is a mistake of nature. It's a downloadable a curse, like a black cat that crosses your path and pisses on your foot.

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